Milan Noelle

I once matched with a handsome young man on a dating app and we seemed to get on well.

A month into chatting, we went on our first date. It was fun and the energy exchanged between us felt like ease. We agreed that we enjoyed it and wanted to go on another one. His responses began slacking two weeks after, though. Days would go by before he responded to texts. The second date never made it out of the chat.

One day I sent a text the morning after a conversation we had the day before, and he just never responded back. I refrained from sending another to “see if everything was alright”. I realized that I was trying to hold onto an interaction that had run its course. At that point I knew, more than likely, he was fine. He just wasn’t interested enough. I had to let what wanted to go, go.

Dating is a great way to practice letting go.

It can show us how much we trust our intuition to let what wants to come in, come in and let what wants to go, go. This helps us align with and make space for the right person and relationship for us or our desired outcomes in life.

When it’s time to release a person or a relationship, it can be because there are things happening outside of our control, reach, or that have nothing to do with us. People are complex. We can’t make someone like us, hold space for us, or even change off of the strength of us. No matter how great of a person we are.

I’ve dated men where it felt like things were going well, and then they evaporated into thin air, never to be seen or heard from again. I’ve dated men that I chose to walk away from because it wasn’t right, we weren’t compatible, or they “just weren’t that into me”. Each one was a reminder that when it’s time for something to be over, lean in and let it.

Let it go in peace. Let it go in tears. Let it go in silence. Let it go in uncertainty. But let it go.

I think why many of us fear letting go is because we don’t think the unknown will be better or serve us more than the present or past.

It’ll let us down like the past did. It won’t top the present we’re experiencing. What is and what has been feels safer- predictable. We know what to expect even if it feels crummy.

We deserve more than predictable crumbs.

What if predictability in most instances is stunting us?

Sure, I want the quality and safety of a bridge I’m crossing to be predictable. But what safety is there in holding onto a known person, relationship, or pattern that doesn’t add to our lives or, feel right in our heart and soul right now or anymore?

Sometimes perceivably good things run their course and have to be let go of, when it’s time, too.

When we let go, we’re actively trusting and engaging in the infinite cycle of giving (letting go) and receiving, aka, death and rebirth throughout life. We trust that when something exits or is removed, it makes room for what is for us.

It’s not supposed to “work out” with everyone we come across, and that it’s OKAY. The more I remembered that, the easier it became to let go when the writing was on the wall.

This isn’t limited romantic interests. It’s inclusive of any relationships in our lives, both personal and professional. I carry this wisdom with me in all the different areas of my life.

Letting go doesn’t always feel good in the moment. But it always makes space for what’s really for me right now and in the future. I think this rings true for most people as well.

After finishing this piece in preparation for posting, I stumbled on this song (see below) by the amazing, Alex Isley. Listen carefully to the song’s lyrics. The universal algorithm is unmatched I tell ya. ✨